Monday, April 22, 2013


Every now and then I can't help tweaking those who text without identifying themselves.  This weekend, I got one:

txtr:  Yahmeia?

pb:  Who is this?

txtr:  Booja!

pb:  Booya your self.  Who beedzis?

txtr:  Is tht yameia?

pb:  No. Rmeia iz heronner skidmore.

(Actually, Elmira's mayor is indeed a Ms. Skidmore.)

txtr:  No response:

After a pause, I couldn't resist:

pb:  Seriously, dude.  Wrong number.

It's mean, I know, and someday it will come back to bite me in the butt.  Right now, however, I get my jollies wherever I can.

Little Pond

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

ALL GONE: Afterword to Easter Brunch

Gluten-free, lactose-free, no sugar, no chocolate Easter baskets.


What happened to Easter?  We used to start the day with opening the Easter Baskets, and diving into mountains of chocolate and jelly eggs.

Gone.  All gone.

Of course, the kids are grown and begin Easter morning in their own way.  At present, this precludes the usual chocolate and jelly eggs.  Oh, never fear:  the kids still get their candy, but now Celiac Disease and Lactose Intolerance has changed the face of the Easter Basket.

Husband RJ bought jelly beans from Wegmans, but they had to be kept from the kids.  Nowhere did they attest to being Gluten Free.

Instead, at Grammy Pat's and Grampa's house, there are candy-free baskets full of toys, all carefully selected and sorted by age and appropriateness for each child.

What happened to Easter Brunch?  You know:   eggs, pancakes, bacon, ham, home fries.

Gone.  All gone.

Okay, that's stretching the truth.  We did have eggs and pan fries, all made up to be low-fat and low-salt and vegetarian.  Ham and Bacon have been replaced by turkey ham, carefully disguised with pineapple, honey and cloves.

Ketchup and sea salt on request only.

Any dish that was not specifically meat had to be gluten-free and vegetarian, prepared the day before and separated from the rest to prevent cross-contamination.  And while not strictly vegan, our vegetable dishes cannot have eggs--and watch out for that cross-contamination.

Finally the drinks.  Coffee, cocoa.  Juices?

Gone.  Except for the juices.  We did have orange-pineapple mimosas with a very nice Great Western Extra Dry champagne.  We also offered Bloody Mary's, Veggie Maries, and various vodka drinks mixed with V8 Fusion.  Cranberry-blackberry and Blueberry-Pomegranate.  No one drank coffee except Husband RJ, and a few guests carried their own bottles of Gatorade, of all things.

Nevertheless, I have to admit we had a lovely Brunch.  In fact, it was awesome.  At least that is what I kept saying after a couple of mimosas.

A few days later, though, I can't help but wonder where our wonderful, carefree, throw-it-together, bring-your-own-dish, Easter Brunch went.

Gone.  All gone.

Welcome to the 21st Century.

Little Pond