Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What the hell is the matter with me?

I can't even put this post in the MSCompanion.  And I don't have a stupidity blog, so the Pond will have to do.

My daughter offered to do some yard work for me and I graciously accepted.  Or is that gratefully?

Anyway, she clipped my shrub around the front porch, but called me to ask what to do about the mail box.

Mail box is a poorly installed classic green on a post with the little red flag.  It is actually situated left of the steps.  I don't have to leave the porch to retrieve letters and the letter carrier doesn't have to climb stairs to drop deliveries.

Mail box is in very poor shape.  I take that back.  The post is rotting out from the bottom.  Only God knows why.

This could not be fixed with duct tape.   Heartsick, I rummaged through our utility drawer and rediscovered.   Ta Da!  Zip ties.

Rather discretely, if I do say so myself, I shored up the whole pathetic mess with both large zipties for the post and tiny ones for those little (drain?) holes on the side of the box.  Presto!  problem solved.

My daughter wanted to know if she should trim around all those repairs.  Like the ass I am, I donned my Stupid Cap and grabbed the electric trimmers.  Moving in and around where I knew I had zipties, I clipped away the greenery.

Then I some how clipped away the inside of the left index finder.

I SWEAR I mentally visualized the teeth of the trimmers cutting through my flesh.  I felt nothing.

Soon we were awash in blood.  My kid grabbed a towel and we were on  our way to Urgent Care.

All it took was cauterizing two arteries and five stitches later, and we went home.  Sadder and wiser.

At least my kid is.  I think my brain shut down somewhere between breakfast and chores.

What happened to "with age comes wisdom?"  A character in one of my video games is always saying it.  I was beginning to think it was true.  See?  Video games are dangerous.